Between Utopia and Service

It's Friday night and I am sat in my van somewhere in a valley by a place of great spiritual importance. I am sat in the Perun current of the Templar line deliberately. As is usual, I am alone and kept company by my thoughts and the internet.

I had a browse around substack just now and once again marveled at how men and women thinks so differently. No insult intended but many women witter on about love in a utopian sort of way that just puts me right off. Utopia doesn't exist. Real life does and it is never as fluffy and romantic as these writers see it. Life is in fact brutal at times.

By huge contrast, I had a long social media conversation with a woman I met online on a dating site recently who it turned out 'works’ as a prostitute. I had no idea at first - but once I knew, I was intrigued. It’s quite the way to gain business I would say but shows once again why dating sites are done.

So many questions…. The woman is Chinese (of course, this is how we met) by the way and perhaps there is an element of cultural difference? She is a nice lady based on the conversations. Kind, intelligent and thoughtful. But she values money above all else.

She talked about her 'job’ somewhat openly. I said its not a job - its a lifestyle. She bit her tongue - responding and deleting before I could read. She said she had never hurt anyone and I asked what about the hurt wives? Her response was cold - people are how they are. I agreed saying no one is perfect and we all make mistakes we regret - but there was no regret - and everything finished with the same equation - money.

I asked how she could do this - just sleep with the next man to call? I always wanted to ask that question… she told me she is fulfilling a service and many men couldn't get sex if they tried so she is doing them a favor… she made it sound like charity work. I said yes - but what if they stink? I don't invite them back she said.

The reason to be is she was poor, divorced, kids and bills. This way, she can make enough to live the life in just a few years. Meanwhile, her kids lack a mother. Will they see it her way? I said to her that I had discovered that money doesnt bring happiness - she basically just said because I was a rich bastard and couldn't know want. Perhaps there is a little truth in that but money does not bring happiness all the same.

The conversation lasted 40 minutes or so. The longer it went on, the more it got tense. I made her an offer…. how about I take you somewhere nice for the day? Give you a break< Show you the country you live in but do not see? Oh, I would lose money - I am here to make money. OK - how much would you lose I asked? The answer was about 600USD or so. I used that then to calculate her annual take and compare it to the average salary in China. Of course, I showed her that and said, I think taking one day off would not even be noticed. She agreed but said she didnt know me (true), didn't feel the need and numerous other excuses.

What I gathered during this conversation was that much of her day is spent in sheer boredom. She cannot leave the flat during business hours (9am to 11pm). She is there 7 days a week, no holidays. She gets to go home for a couple of months every year or so. She tells me its her choice. It’s a contracted job and not slavery. She can quit and leave at any time…. but she never does.

So, while some western women witter on about love Utopias and I whinge about never being able to find anyone, the world is filled with soulless creatures whose sole priority is money. For them, love is fiction. It does not exist. Rather, money is the heaven they seek.

I couldn't think of anything more black and white. And my take? You know, there but for the grace of God go I. I will not condemn nor condone. I will try not to judge but there was a heaviness in my heart as I said nice talking to you, good bye and good luck…..

She had sold her soul.

A quick Google revealed there are around 13000 women providing sexual services in Czechia. I do not know if that is accurate or not. Again, I am neither against nor in favor - live and let live.

These days however, when porn is the American dream and girls can earn millions titillating on readily available sites, the line between prostitution and other forms of adult ‘entertainment’ are increasingly blurred. Young women can see an easy way to make money and to become celebrities at the same time.

Somewhere between feminine love utopia and the loss of soul for money and fame, love truly lies. These days, where that place is is anyone's guess.